35 years
What do I do with this day?
October 22, 2024
Thirty-five years ago on this day—October 22—our 11-year-old son Jacob was stolen from us and our lives changed forever.
It’s so hard to describe what happens each year on October 22. Before Jacob was found, we always tried to use this day to talk to the media, re-engage law enforcement, and keep the hope alive by asking the public to keep searching for Jacob. Then, over Labor Day weekend in September 2016, the man who kidnapped Jacob accepted a plea deal and led law enforcement to Jacob’s remains. Finally we got our answers to what really happened on that horrible day in 1989.
And now, 35 years later, we are still asking ourselves… what do we do with this day?
It doesn’t help that everything feels oddly similar this year. The weather in Minnesota is beautiful and unseasonably warm with temperatures in the 70s. Families just celebrated a long weekend over the MEA school break. And, the Minnesota Vikings played the Detroit Lions this past Sunday, just like they did in 1989.
Still, we still find strength and comfort in remembering Jacob on October 22 and gathering with friends and family. As our grandkids get older, our kids are faced with busy schedules and other life commitments, so it’s a bit of a toss-up as to who is able to stop by. But, Jerry and I prefer staying home and continuing to feel the support of all those who have carried us on this tough journey.
Last night, on the eve of Oct 22, we once again made Jacob’s favorite meal—a steak dinner with baked potatoes and Peanut Butter Swirl Bars for dessert. Our friends Donna and Kevin plan to stop on Tuesday with Corn and Cheddar Cheese Chowder, and we’ve also heard from a few other friends who have never missed an October 22. We will turn on our front porch light and play some Red Grammer music to sing along to and be warmed by the gift of so much love and support. Later, we’ll walk up to the abduction site and offer a few prayers of remembrance as we reminisce.
I’ll also keep working on my annual “Dear Jacob” letter, as it helps me to put perspective on this strange life we’ve led. We will never let this day go by without sharing how wonderful Jacob was to have in our lives for those short 11 years.
Our family is truly grateful for the support, hugs, love and prayers that always lead us out of the darkness and back into our belief that there are way more good people in the world than bad. I definitely feel that it’s time for good people to come together again.
Jacob, your strong spirit continues to guide us, and the entire world has benefited from knowing you and loving you. You have changed so many lives and will remain in our hearts forever.
With all my love,
Mom
A blast from the past
At a recent speaking event for the Minnesota Society for Human Resource Management (MNSHRM), Joy and I had the opportunity to visit with several people who shared their own stories of where they were living, how old they were when Jacob was taken, and how his disappearance had made such a profound and lasting impact on their own lives.
One of the people we spoke to was a woman named Bonny Cruz who shared a photo with us that she’d saved on her cell phone.
It was from an article in the St. Cloud Times that ran on October 21, 1990, one day before the first anniversary of Jacob’s disappearance. She zoomed in to show that I had even signed the photo that appeared in the article.
Bonny went on to explain that she is now dating the little boy in the blue pants who was running behind Jerry. His name is Dave Windels and his dad, Wes, is in the black running outfit, slightly behind Jerry on his left.
It turns out that Dave Windels is now “Sergeant Windels,” a patrol sergeant with the Elk River Police Department. His grandfather was also a police officer in New York Mills.
It warms my heart when people continue to share their stories with me. Thank you, Bonny, for taking the time to share this photo, and to Dave for his 24 years of service as a law enforcement officer!
The marvels and miracles of DNA forensics
On September 24, Joy and I had the amazing opportunity to share Jacob’s story with an audience of nearly 1,000 as keynote speakers for the 35th International Symposium on Human Identification (ISHI) in San Antonio, Texas.
ISHI (pronounced “ishy”) is where leaders in the emerging field of DNA forensics meet to learn cutting-edge insights, discover new products and services being introduced to the market, and network with like-minded individuals from around the world who are all dedicated to the advancement of DNA technology. These are the people who work every day to solve mysteries, reunite families, and assist law enforcement, especially where DNA is involved. These forensic scientists and researchers seldom get any acknowledgement when their work provides a big break in a case, so they really appreciate hearing real life stories like Jacob’s where forensic genealogy and/or DNA technology helped provide answers.
The theme of this year’s ISHI conference was “From Evidence to Narrative: The Convergence of True Crime Media and DNA Forensic.” Joy and I presented together, laying out Jacob’s case from the very beginning and through to the conclusion, where advancements in DNA technology ultimately helped to solve the case. It was an emotional presentation for me because, without those dedicated men and women in the audience who work hard every day to advance the field of DNA forensics, we may never have found our answers.
Ironically, just eight days after this intense conference, my friend Colleen Nick called from Arkansas to tell me that, the following morning, there was going to be an important press conference regarding her daughter Morgan’s case. Six-year-old Morgan Nick went missing while attending a Little League baseball game with her mother on the evening of June 9, 1995. After going to catch fireflies with two of her friends on a nearby hill, Morgan never returned. She is still missing 29 years later.
Morgan’s story was recently featured in a documentary called “Still Missing Morgan” on Hulu. The limited series also covered Jacob’s case, as well as the deep, lifelong friendship that Colleen and I developed throughout our years as searching parents.
During the filming of the documentary, investigators tracked down a red pickup truck that was seen at the ballfield on the night Morgan went missing. The press conference confirmed that DNA from a blonde hair found in the truck belonged to Morgan.
Unfortunately, the man who owned the red truck died in prison in 2000. So, while there is now convincing evidence that this suspect kidnapped Morgan, the family is still praying for more information as to her location. Anyone with information should call the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children at 1-800-THE-LOST.
Thank you to all the scientists and law enforcement who have never given up on Morgan. The challenges of having a long-term missing child are devastating. Our hearts and prayers remain with Colleen, her children and her grandchildren.
Some photos from our recent book talks
Book Clubs
We are visiting book clubs and discussing Dear Jacob: A Mother’s Journey of Hope on Zoom! In return, we ask that your book club make a donation of any amount to the Jacob Wetterling Resource Center. Message us for details. We look forward to sharing Dear Jacob with you!
Message Patty Wetterling and Joy Baker
Rankings and reviews
If you enjoyed reading Dear Jacob: A Mother’s Journey of Hope, please give it a positive rating and leave a review on Amazon, Goodreads, Barnes & Noble, or wherever you purchased your book. We love reading your reviews!
Ask for Dear Jacob at your local library
We love libraries, and would especially love if every library in America had a copy of Dear Jacob on its shelves. Many times there’s an online form you can fill out to request a specific book, but of course it’s just as simple to pick up the phone and call your friendly librarian. Thank you for your supporting your local library!
Follow Joy at JoyTheCurious.com
If you’re not already following Joy’s Substack, you can find her at JoyTheCurious.com. Check out her latest story called “Sentenced to College: The Angel Hernandez Story.”
Dear Jacob: A Mother’s Journey of Hope was released on October 17th, 2023 by MNHS Press. You can purchase it at your favorite bookseller, or ask for it at your local library.
This morning, the very first word to enter my conscious mind as I awoke in my bed in Greenville, South Carolina was JACOB--just as it has been every October 22 for far too many years. I'm just a mom with two sons of my own who loves Jacob for the unique boy he was, and for the pieces of Jacob that made him like mine. To every mom, Jacob feels like he was ours too. Jacob was love, and he is loved. Tonight I will make Jacob's favorite brownies for my boys to enjoy, and we will talk about each of the 11 characteristics that made Jacob the special, precious boy, son, brother, and friend he was. Jacob is still teaching all of us. Much love, light, and peace to all of the Wetterling family.
Continued love respect prayers and peace ❤️