Go raibh maith agat, Ireland!
Go raibh maith agat, Ireland!
Thank you, Ireland
Stepping off the plane at the Dublin airport, I felt a connection from deep down inside of me. I was here. I was suddenly discovering a piece of my identity that, in many ways, I didn’t know I was missing. In this case, it was a long unknown story of my family roots. It’s not that anything was ever hidden from me, it’s just that my life has had so many twists and turns, it’s been hard to keep up—much less take a deep dive backwards!
My desire to learn more about my Irish roots arose when I seriously started writing Dear Jacob. Joy asked me to talk about growing up in St. Paul and to share more about my family. I spent a lot of time pondering the fact that I knew very little about my birth dad. The truth is, I was so young when he died, I barely remember him. I have one vivid memory of my dad holding my hand as we walked to church. This was during a time when he was nearly blind from diabetic complications and poor health. I was amazed that he could stop me from stepping out into the street when a car was coming. I didn’t see it, but he could hear it.
My birth dad died when I was in kindergarten. Life was different then. He was Catholic but my mom wasn’t, so there was a bit of a split in the family. My maternal grandmother (my mom’s mother) almost didn’t attend my parents’ wedding because of this. After my dad passed, we somewhat lost contact with that side of the family. My mom tried to keep us in touch over the years, but we really didn’t see them a lot. I’ve reconnected with some of my cousins recently and am sad about the lost years.
All of this built a strong desire to learn more about my ancestors. I knew I was part Irish and was named after my dad’s brother Patrick who drowned as a teenager. I was told this was the main reason my mom had all of us in swimming lessons as early as she could!
In 2021, when I sold my little house in St. Paul, our realtors asked me what I was going to do with the profit I had made. I told them, “I’m going to Ireland!”
Thanks to my husband, Jerry, and to Joy and Ross Baker, I finally did it.
A few years ago, Joy gave us DNA kits from Ancestry.com. She helped me build my family tree, and I learned that my dad’s family came from County Mayo in northwest Ireland. As it turns out, I am 50% Irish (100% on my birth father’s side). I also learned that Joy’s husband, Ross, had Baker ancestors from County Clare that settled in the same area of Wisconsin where my ancestors settled. Joy teased that maybe Ross and I were cousins!
Working together, Joy and I created a travel itinerary that revolved around visiting Ross’s roots and mine, as well as hitting some of the top tourist spots in Ireland.
The trip was magical. Hearing the language and music made my heart sing, and it was shocking to me how I felt a smile rising from deep down inside me that lasted the entire trip. I felt at peace, at home. I love the Irish music and the playful people. The first day, we walked around Dublin and jumped on a “hop-on hop-off “ bus tour to get an overview of the city. Truth be told, we were so exhausted from the long flight and jet lag, we hopped on, but never actually hopped off. The driver kept teasing us (“For the love of God, hop OFF people!”), but after the all-night flight we were happy to just see the sights, hear the history, and get back to our hotel for a nap.
The next day, we hopped on the train for Galway and played a game of 500 along the way. We ended up chatting with four travelers across the aisle from us who offered insights on where to go and what to see. Irish people are so chatty and friendly! (Although, I have to admit, even though we were all speaking English, I really had to concentrate to understand what they were saying because of their thick—but delightful—Irish accents.)
The highlights from our trip were many and varied.
We loved the Cliffs of Moher and imagined being the first humans to discover them. I could feel a sensational spirit connection to the earth, the sky, and the water. For the most part we had beautiful, sunny weather every day of our trip, except for a short burst of rain at the Cliffs of Moher that was followed by a glorious rainbow.
On our way to Limerick, Joy and I sang Irish songs (karaoke style) in the back seat of the car as Ross negotiated driving on the left side of the road. That night, we visited an Irish pub that featured live music. We joined in on the singing and watched in awe as a young woman with the band performed some traditional Irish step dancing. It was like we were in the middle of a movie!
We visited several cathedrals along the way, lit candles of remembrance, and also visited a few castles. We especially had fun taking pictures of Ross at Ross Castle on the Ring of Kerry!
One of the biggest highlights of the trip was our stay at Ashford Castle. Staying overnight in a castle has always been a dream of mine, and it certainly was met here!
We left Limerick early in the day to make it in time for our 2 PM “Hawk Walk” on the castle grounds. Our guide introduced us to“Bilbo” and “Samwise,” two sibling hawks that were surprisingly social. They rested in our outstretched arms, then flew away on command, gliding smoothly through the air and often hiding in the trees. When we wanted them to come back, we raised our forearms as our guide gave a whistle, and the hawks would land again, rewarded by the guide’s treats. It was so peaceful to walk through those lush, glorious woods, at one with these beautiful, intelligent birds.
Every aspect of our journey was meaningful. Joy is an incredible researcher and was able to figure out the town where my Earley ancestors once lived. We made our way to Belmullet in County Mayo, and someone suggested that we should head over to the Civic Center where we met Kathleen and Ian. When we told them we were looking for my Early/Earley ancestors, they called Geraldine (whose Godmother was an Early), and she promptly stopped by to help.
Between the three of them, they seemed to know everyone who had ever lived in the area. It turns out my family name, Earley, is not very common, so it triggered a lot of information (including the fact that it’s sometimes spelled Earley with an -ey at the end, and sometimes just Early, but it’s all the same family.)
Kathleen, Ian, and Geraldine spent over an hour helping us, using their phones and computers to come up with possible relatives. It turns out that Geraldine has Early/Earley relatives on her family tree that are also on my tree, so it could be that we’re distant cousins!
Ian was able to narrow down the cemetery where some of the Earleys were buried, so he and Geraldine even offered to hop in their car and lead us there! We found the gravestone of Martin Earley, who was buried near his sister, Bridget (AKA “Lillie”). I couldn’t help but think how ironic it was that Jerry’s mother was “Lil” and we have a granddaughter named Lili. This Bridget (Lillie) died in 2011 at the age of 103! I should be so lucky!
I left Belmullet feeling enriched and connected. Discovering some of the relatives who came before me was incredibly moving, and I received something in return that I hadn’t even known I’d lost—family. I now have a deeper understanding of the Earley family’s journey that brought my great great Grandparents to Erin, Wisconsin, then to St. Paul, which brought my dad, Robert, to St. Paul Central High School where he met my mom, Eunice, and they created my sisters and me. I was the fourth Early girl.
Jerry and I spent our last day on a tour to Newgrange, a neolithic passage tomb that is 500 years older than the Great Pyramids, and 1000 years older than Stonehenge. We had to crouch to enter the dark, narrow passageway that took us to the inner sanctum of Newgrange, and it was there we saw the true brilliance of their construction. The roof was slanted with gigantic, heavy rocks that were each strategically placed, without any filler or mortar like we would use today. The architecture was incredible, with each stone stacked in such a way that prevented rain or water from ever seeping into the inner chamber. Brilliant!
Newgrange truly is special. Every year at the winter solstice, the sun lines up perfectly and shines light directly through the long narrow passageway which lights up the entire inner sanctum for 17 minutes. Being inside that magical and sacred space, I kept wondering how they could possibly have figured that out so long ago. This historic site was built over multiple generations, using blocks of stone that weighed 10 to 20 tons. And every December 22nd at sunrise, the lighting of the inner sanctum still occurs. Amazing.
During the era when Newgrange was built, we learned people were lucky if they lived to be 30 years old. I kept wondering, what were their lives like back then? Did they have any time for joy and laughter? What were their thoughts on life and death? What do we think about all of this today? Do we even take time to ponder life’s meaning or our own individual purpose now that we tend to live much longer? What did they do that gave them pleasure? What do I do in my life that gives me pleasure?
This whole journey to Ireland was profoundly deep and strengthening for me. Laughing, singing, putting our feet in the ocean, touching the sand, feeling the earth, breathing the air, hearing the lilting Irish voices, joining in on their song, being with friends, marveling at the flowers—I felt like I had found a piece of me that I’d never really known. I felt at peace, happy, renewed, energized—and connected to something that was so much bigger than myself.
HUGE thanks to Joy, who is one of the most brilliant, optimistic, dedicated, happiness-building people that I know. To Ross, who is so much fun and always willing to take on difficult challenges (like keeping everyone happy while driving in a new country on the opposite side of the road with a carful of back seat drivers). My love and gratitude to Jerry who always enjoys life (and learning), and is a great sport at “going with the flow” and taking it all in.
I am so grateful to now carry a warm place in my heart for all my Irish relatives who went through so much in their own lives, yet continued to sing, dance, and keep that sparkle in their eyes. Thank you.
My parting thoughts: Sing, reflect, laugh, be with friends, continue to learn, do things that make you happy, dance, bring cheer to others, do what you can to make things better, live fully.
Where to next?
Big news!
Joy and I are truly honored to be keynote speakers at the 35th International Symposium on Human Identification (ISHI)!
ISHI is the largest annual meeting focusing entirely on DNA forensics and will celebrate its 35th anniversary September 23—26 in San Antonio. The annual meeting on DNA forensics welcomes more than 900 forensic DNA experts and law enforcement professionals from around the world. Promega Corporation, a developer and manufacturer of products for DNA-based human identification, has sponsored ISHI since its inception.
From Evidence to Narrative: The Convergence of True Crime Media and DNA Forensics
The 2024 ISHI Keynote session will spotlight the intersection of true crime media and DNA forensics. A panel of speakers will share insights and experiences that underscore the role of DNA in connecting the past with the present and shaping the future.
Speakers include:
Patty Wetterling – Advocate of children’s safety and past chair of the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children
Joy Baker – Co-author of Dear Jacob: A Mother’s Journey of Hope and blogger
Professor Turi King – Scientist, presenter, speaker and author who is passionate about communicating science to the public
Dr. Anna Barbaro – President of the Worldwide Association of Women Forensic Experts
Ashley Flowers – Founder of AudioChuck, podcaster, author and advocate
ISHI attracts forensic experts representing 40+ countries and a variety of professions including criminalists, research scientists, lab directors, CODIS analysts and forensic scientists to discuss the latest advances in forensic DNA analysis. Media are invited to attend and must pre-register.
Visit www.ishinews.com for agenda, registration and updates.
Upcoming Events
If you’re interested in setting up a speaking event, please contact Jim Cihlar at MNHS Press for details.
9/29/2024 **UPDATED** – Patty, Trinity Lutheran Church, Orono, MN – 10:00 AM
10/17/2024 – Patty and Joy, Douglas County Library/Community Ed, Discovery Middle School, Alexandria, MN – 6:30 PM
Book Clubs
We are visiting book clubs and discussing Dear Jacob: A Mother’s Journey of Hope on Zoom! In return, we ask that your book club make a donation of any amount to the Jacob Wetterling Resource Center. Message us for details. We look forward to sharing Dear Jacob with you!
Rankings and reviews
If you enjoyed reading Dear Jacob: A Mother’s Journey of Hope, please give it a positive rating and leave a review on Amazon, Goodreads, Barnes & Noble, or wherever you purchased your book. We love reading your reviews!
Ask for Dear Jacob at your local library
We love libraries, and would especially love if every library in America had a copy of Dear Jacob on its shelves. Many times there’s an online form you can fill out to request a specific book, but of course it’s just as simple to pick up the phone and call your friendly librarian. Thank you for your supporting your local library!
Follow Joy at JoyTheCurious.com
If you’re not already following Joy’s Substack, you can find her at JoyTheCurious.com. Check out her latest story called “Sentenced to College: The Angel Hernandez Story.”
Dear Jacob: A Mother’s Journey of Hope was released on October 17th, 2023 by MNHS Press. You can purchase it at your favorite bookseller, or ask for it at your local library.
https://open.substack.com/pub/billionairbear/p/the-greatest-rte-late-late-show-sketch?r=1g5bw0&utm_medium=ios
Hi Patty - I’m a friend of Joy’s from the Florida timeshare and was able to attend your book event in Naples through Joy’s kindness. Your trip to Ireland sounds wonderful and the trip of a lifetime!
Congratulations to you and Joy for being chosen to be presenters at the symposium. The two of you are doing such important work and thanks for all you’ve done over the years to help make children’s lives safer. Take care!