Ten years
By Joy Baker
This past Labor Day weekend marked ten years since the world found out that Jacob Wetterling’s remains had been found. It was a grueling 8-day stretch for the Wetterling family as they navigated from potential confession, to a plea deal, to digging, re-digging, a hockey jacket, remains, devastation, a media leak, breaking news, public reaction, and finally, that horrible day in the courtroom when Danny Heinrich admitted to kidnapping and killing Jacob on that fall day in October 1989.
It was the Tuesday after Labor Day — September 6, 2015 — and that day will forever be branded on my soul. Even after ten years, I still cry whenever I think about being in the courtroom that day and hearing all that Jacob had to endure. As a mom, it was unbearable, and I think I understand now what Patty means when she says that each fall “her body remembers” the trauma of Jacob’s kidnapping. Even if time has helped ease some of the psychological burden, the cells and the soul remember. Yes, we both love the start of school, the changing of the leaves, the cooler temps, and the start of Vikings football, but all that beauty and excitement now comes with a heaviness that is hard to shake.
In today’s video update, we talk about that “seasonal heaviness” and how the ten year milestone somehow made it seem a little heavier this year.
(For those interested, I did finally write about my own traumatic memories from that day in the courtroom toward the end of my “Finding the Ocean” blog story. You can read that here: https://www.joythecurious.com/p/finding-the-ocean-chapter-13)
In the video, Patty and I also cover the launch of a beautiful new book called Maybe Life Hurts, a 10-year passion project co-edited by Carol Bruess and Kurt Voss which is “A collection of essays, poetry, letters, reflections and visual art about the questions that accompany us through every season of life — grief and love, faith and doubt, identity and belonging, and the ongoing work of becoming.” Both Patty and I were invited to contribute a written piece for the book, and we look forward to its launch later this week. Check out the new website at MaybeLifeHurts.com.
The Minnesota theatrical release of Chris Newberry’s documentary—Echoes in the Night—was also on our minds. We share thoughts from a few of the Q&A panels that followed the shows, plus reactions to the film. Patty is also sharing a personal writing piece that she crafted after wanting to go deeper on one of the Q&A answers she gave about the man who took her son. You can read that in full below.
Finally, Patty and I talk about our fall book events and speaking appearances that are coming up in the next few months (full schedule below). We’re looking forward to hitting the road again together and hope to see you at one of our upcoming events!
I never think about Danny Heinrich
By Patty Wetterling
I never think about Danny Heinrich. I seldom say his name at book presentations or in daily life. The man stole so many days, hours, minutes of our world for nearly 27 years, I refuse to give him one more second.
But.
A few weeks ago, after the August 24th showing of Chris Newberry’s Echoes in the Night documentary in Cold Spring, an audience member challenged me with a question during the Q and A session and I felt like I didn’t have a good enough answer. He said something to the effect of, “I can’t believe you don’t think of Danny Heinrich as an animal. Do you really think he can change?”
In the film, I must have mentioned that I believe human beings have the ability to change with sex offender treatment. I go on to say that Danny Heinrich isn’t an animal; he is a human being that made some really bad choices. I pondered what might have happened to him when he was 11 years old that would cause him to grow up and do such a horrible thing. Maybe life would have been different for all of us if he just would have received the help he needed earlier.
So, do I really believe that Danny Heinrich can be rehabilitated through sex offender treatment? Well, what exactly is that?
A few years ago I wanted to find out. I reached out to one of my friends at the Minnesota Department of Corrections and arranged a visit to the Lino Lakes Correctional Facility. It houses a medium-security, prison-based Sex Offender Treatment Program for adult male offenders who are currently serving time inside the prison.
(In addition, Minnesota has two facilities in Moose Lake and St. Peter that are operated by the Department of Human Services exclusively for the Minnesota Sex Offender Program. These facilities are for individuals who have been civilly committed as a sexually dangerous person after completing a prison sentence.)
I’d forgotten how intimidating it is just getting through security when entering a prison. The loud clanking of the doors locking behind me sent chills through my body as I waited for the next set of doors to unlock. Once they did, I was greeted warmly by one of the prison guards who walked me across the grounds to an administration building. There, I visited with two of the staff who run the Sex Offender Treatment Program.
First of all, it is a difficult program to get into. They have criteria that must be met and it is a long-term commitment. Like many counseling programs, it is hard work. There are assignments, they must own up to the harm caused, talk about their sex offending, get rid of the denial, learn about boundaries, and practice skills to build healthier relationships. Most of those who go through treatment while in prison continue with it upon their release. The staff is proud of the work they do. The offenders are closely monitored and held accountable for their past offenses. I have tremendous respect for the therapists who do this difficult work!
A week later, I visited CORE Professional Services, a private sex offender treatment program for adults and juveniles that is located near me in St. Cloud. Far less intimidating, I entered the cozy building and was greeted by Frank F. Weber, Clinical Director of the CORE program, as well as another staff psychologist. They shared an intense treatment workbook with me titled “From Now On” that helps individuals understand the impact of their past behavior. The opening page says it all.
What kind of person are you going to be from now on?
“From now on” is all the time you have left.
You have the opportunity to be a variety of versions of yourself.
This workbook is a guide to help you through the difficult process
of becoming the best version of you.
Best Wishes,
Frank F. Weber
They are so proud of their work and have many success stories of people working hard on their efforts to be the best versions of themselves. In fact, Frank reported that in the 31 years they’ve had the program, 98% of their graduates have never been convicted of another offense.
We all win when they succeed. The offender’s goal is to have no more victims, and this is their best way forward.
So, back to that audience member’s original question. Do I really believe that Danny Heinrich can be rehabilitated?
I believe my final answer was no. At his 2016 sentencing, Heinrich showed no remorse, no apology, no feelings at all. So, no, I don’t believe he is a candidate for sex offender treatment, or for making positive changes in whatever time he has left on this planet.
In fact, it reminds me of a lightbulb joke.
Q. How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Only one. But that lightbulb has to really want to change.
For more information about CORE Professional Services, send an email to sccore@coretreatment.com
Theatrical showings and reviews for Chris Newberry’s film “Echoes in the Night”
According to Google’s AI bot:
Reviews for the independent documentary Echoes in the Night: The Search for Jacob Wetterling praise director Chris Newberry for treating a painful tragedy with deep compassion, restraint, and humanity rather than exploiting it for sensationalism. [1, 2, 3]
Key Review Takeaways
Respectful Storytelling: Critics and audiences contrast the film favorably against mainstream network specials (like ABC’s 20/20), noting that Newberry avoids cheap re-enactments or shock value. [1]
Focus on Grace and Legacy: Reviews highlight that the documentary centers on the extraordinary strength and grace of Patty and Jerry Wetterling, while honoring the advocacy work done in Jacob’s name to protect other children. [1, 2, 3]
Emotional Impact: Early viewers call it a “must-see” and an unforgettable local look at a defining chapter in Minnesota history, frequently warning audiences to bring tissues. [1, 2, 3, 4]
Critical Acclaim: It earned a “Best of the Fest” recognition following its premiere at the Minneapolis St. Paul International Film Festival. [1]
View the full theatrical schedule and details about the film at https://www.jacobwetterlingfilm.com
Patty and Joy’s Upcoming Events
Additional events, links and details will be added as they become available. Dates and times subject to change. Please check DearJacobBook.com/p/events for updates and final confirmation.
If you’re interested in having Patty and Joy do a book signing and/or speak at your upcoming event, please contact Jim Cihlar at Minnesota Historical Society Press.
9/19/2026, 2:00 PM, Patty & Joy, Lyon County Museum, Marshall, MN
9/30/2026, 6:30 PM, Patty & Joy, North Mankato Autumn Community Read and Twin Rivers Writers Series, Swim Facility Warming House, North Mankato, MN
10/1/2026, 6:00 PM, Patty - Fireside chat, An Evening with Patty Wetterling ‘71: A Conversation on Hope and Resilience, Mankato State University, Ostrander Auditorium, Mankato, MN
10/17/2026, 5:00 PM, Patty & Joy, Huron Event Center, Prairie Ballroom, Huron, SD
10/23/2026, 6:00 PM, Patty - Keynote, A Night of Hope for Ride for Missing Children, Twin Ponds Golf and Country Club, New York Mills, NY
11/5/2027, 5:30 PM, Patty & Joy, Meet and Greet & Book Signing followed by film screening and Q&A panel, St. Michael Cinema 15, St. Michael, MN
Book Clubs
We are visiting book clubs and discussing Dear Jacob: A Mother’s Journey of Hope on Zoom! In return, we ask that your book club make a donation of any amount to the Jacob Wetterling Resource Center. Message us for details. We look forward to sharing Dear Jacob with you!
Follow Joy at JoyTheCurious.com
If you’re not already following Joy’s Substack, you can find her at JoyTheCurious.com.
Now in Paperback
Dear Jacob: A Mother’s Journey of Hope
Order from one of these online retailers or wherever you like to buy books!
Excerpt from the new Afterword
By Joy Baker
Sometimes a person comes into your life for reasons you can’t possibly un-derstand. When Patty and I first started working on this book, Jacob was still missing. We thought we were working on a legacy piece that would bring attention to his case, highlight Patty’s advocacy work, and serve as a spark of hope for other families of missing children. We were wrong. It became so much more.
As we worked on those early pages together, we couldn’t possibly have known what was in store for us or what our friendship would have to endure. To see it through would mean going there together—through the darkness, the sadness, and the unfathomable grief. Could we even do it? Would people be receptive to it? Would our friendship survive it?
It has been a remarkable journey.
At that charity gala in 2013 when Patty and I first met, I was forty-six; she was sixty-five. I had just given up my dream of starting a new writing career and gone back to working full-time at what I knew—marketing. Patty was a well-known keynote speaker, a child safety advocate, a national figure in Washington, DC, and probably the most famous Minnesotan I’d ever met. She just oozed drive and purpose. Like everyone else at the gala, I was blown away by her powerful message of hope and her belief in the overall goodness of humankind.
So I was more than a little nervous about approaching Patty that evening and introducing myself as the blogger who had been writing about her missing son for the past two months. Did she know who I was? Had she been following my blog? Was I making a difference? I was desperately trying to figure out my own purpose in life and hoped maybe this was it. By writing about Jacob’s case and asking people to “think Jacob” with me, maybe I could somehow create change.
It didn’t go as expected. Patty saw my writing less as “making a difference” and more “like stalking or something.”
Audiobook
People often ask us if there’s an audiobook version of Dear Jacob and the answer is, yes! It was published by Dreamscape Media at the same time the hard cover was released last year. It’s narrated by Rebecca Stern who does an amazing job voicing this emotional story.
The audiobook has also been updated with the new cover art and afterword —which is read by Joy in her own voice.
You can find the audio version of Dear Jacob: A Mother’s Journey of Hope on all the major audio platforms, including Audible, Audiobooks.com, the Apple Books app, Hoopla, Libby, Libro.fm, Google Play Books, and Scribd. If you’re interested in listening to a sample of Dear Jacob, click the following link.
https://www.audiobooks.com/book/stream/717092
Rankings and reviews
If you enjoyed reading Dear Jacob: A Mother’s Journey of Hope, please give it a positive rating and leave a review on Amazon, Goodreads, Barnes & Noble, or wherever you purchased your book. We love reading your reviews!
Ask for Dear Jacob at your local library
We love libraries, and would especially love if every library in America had a copy of Dear Jacob on its shelves. Many times there’s an online form you can fill out to request a specific book, but of course it’s just as simple to pick up the phone and call your friendly librarian. Thank you for your supporting your local library!