Thank you for being patient with us
News, photos, recaps, and our first attempt at video
Holy buckets, has it really been since last November that we sent an update? Thanks for hanging in there with us and being patient. Things always get a little hectic around the holidays, then there was the paperback release in January, work commitments, volunteer commitments, weddings, vacations, life, and, well… you know. Life is busy.
But here we are, back at it! We recently did our first online bookclub discussion via Zoom and have some screenshots from that to share. Thanks to the ladies from the University of Wisconsin’s Delta Zeta Sorority Alumnae Chapter Virtual Book Club. We really enjoyed meeting with all of you and are grateful for your generous donation to the Jacob Wetterling Resource Center.
Patty and I are trying something a little different with this newsletter… a foray into video. Off and on, we’ve talked about trying to use the new(ish) video capabilities on Substack, so this is that. Our first attempt.
We’re also including an article from Patty that talks about the healing power of connecting and sharing your story with others.
Hope you enjoy!
—Joy
Our first attempt at podcasting… or whatever
Connections
By Patty Wetterling
I will never forget the first time I met another parent of a missing child.
“Tell me about Morgan, or Kevin or Suzie,” I would ask. “What happened? Do you have other children? How are they doing? How are you?”
Often, one of us would nod and offer a hug as the other would share their story.
Shared experiences can be so strengthening and energizing. We would share advice and compare notes. What else can I do? Do I really need to pay attention to that? Here’s what helped me the most.
At our Dear Jacob book events, I am always reminded of the strength and power of shared stories. People want to connect, need to connect.
Our world has changed so much since my childhood. We had one telephone for the seven of us, one car and one TV. On Sundays, my dad would pile us all into the car and we’d go visiting aunts and uncles, cousins and friends. They’d offer cookies and milk, coffee and conversation. It was fun and we’d stay connected by these visits. Technology has pretty much changed all of that. Now we Facetime, Facebook, Snapchat, Zoom, and a million other forms of connections. I am so grateful to have these tools, yet I am still one who truly loves getting together with people face to face—in person—sharing hugs and feeling their smiles or tears.
That connectedness is what Joy and I experience at all our book events. People will share where they were when they first heard about Jacob, how old they were, how it changed their growing up years, and how their parents parented versus how they parent today. Now that they’re parents themselves, they share how they are trying to navigate this whole scary new world that their kids are experiencing. They are seeking support and often tools for talking to kids without scaring them, and how to deal with their own fears of something bad happening.
They also share their own stories. Proud stories of their children and stories of their own loss. They talk about their sadness over losing a child to cancer, accidents, messy divorces, gun violence, or suicide.
I know the power of release that comes from sharing something so personal. Sometimes people are afraid to mention the name of your lost loved one, or afraid to ask a question because they don’t want to cause you further pain. But we carry them so strongly throughout our lives. I know my survival of this very public crime has allowed others to look in the mirror and decide to get up, to commit to making changes that are needed, and to make sure the world never forgets.
This sharing of hearts is always a sacred part of our speaking events. Joy is such a strong friend in this sharing. Jacob wasn’t her own son but somehow, he came into her life as strongly as if he was. She has supported many friends through her kindness and sensitivity, and shows the world how closely connected we all are. She demonstrates how powerful friendships are when we’re going through tough times.
I know the strength it takes to move forward, but I could never have done it without friends and family. If only everyone could find their support systems—their peeps who lift them up. We need to find our way out of the dark. It only takes a single match to light a candle, a single spark to ignite the hope that can guide our way to the light. By uniting hearts through all the pain we’ve encountered and being that spark for one another, we can move to a more caring world. We can gently raise our children to care for one another and help those who are hurting to find a better place.
Today’s world is tough. We hear “news” everywhere we go. We suffer from FOMO if there is no Internet or cell phone coverage, and most of the news is not happy. It’s sad.
We need each other. We need to hear, hug, feel, touch, smell loved ones.
I love these connections. Sad stories, happy stories, strange life experiences, hopeful promises… they are all part of what awakens my spirit. Thank you to all who have shared. Your stories open my heart and make me so grateful to all those who have been there for me and my family.
Jacob’s spirit touched many lives and taught us all that we can help others just by being there for them. Let’s try to revive the spirit of those old-fashioned Sunday visits—whether it’s online or in person—because we can’t ever replace the power of human interactions.
We need each other. Reach out.
Book Clubs
We are visiting book clubs and discussing Dear Jacob: A Mother’s Journey of Hope on Zoom! In return, we ask that your book club make a donation of any amount to the Jacob Wetterling Resource Center. Message us for details. We look forward to sharing Dear Jacob with you!
Follow Joy at JoyTheCurious.com
If you’re not already following Joy’s Substack, you can find her at JoyTheCurious.com. Check out her latest story called “Sentenced to College: The Angel Hernandez Story.”
Now in Paperback, Dear Jacob: A Mother’s Journey of Hope
Order from one of these online retailers or wherever you like to buy books!
Excerpt from the new Afterword
By Joy Baker
Sometimes a person comes into your life for reasons you can’t possibly un-derstand. When Patty and I first started working on this book, Jacob was still missing. We thought we were working on a legacy piece that would bring attention to his case, highlight Patty’s advocacy work, and serve as a spark of hope for other families of missing children. We were wrong. It became so much more.
As we worked on those early pages together, we couldn’t possibly have known what was in store for us or what our friendship would have to endure. To see it through would mean going there together—through the darkness, the sadness, and the unfathomable grief. Could we even do it? Would people be receptive to it? Would our friendship survive it?
It has been a remarkable journey.
At that charity gala in 2013 when Patty and I first met, I was forty-six; she was sixty-five. I had just given up my dream of starting a new writing career and gone back to working full-time at what I knew—marketing. Patty was a well-known keynote speaker, a child safety advocate, a national figure in Washington, DC, and probably the most famous Minnesotan I’d ever met. She just oozed drive and purpose. Like everyone else at the gala, I was blown away by her powerful message of hope and her belief in the overall goodness of humankind.
So I was more than a little nervous about approaching Patty that evening and introducing myself as the blogger who had been writing about her missing son for the past two months. Did she know who I was? Had she been following my blog? Was I making a difference? I was desperately trying to figure out my own purpose in life and hoped maybe this was it. By writing about Jacob’s case and asking people to “think Jacob” with me, maybe I could somehow create change.
It didn’t go as expected. Patty saw my writing less as “making a difference” and more “like stalking or something.”
Audiobook
People often ask us if there’s an audiobook version of Dear Jacob and the answer is, yes! It was published by Dreamscape Media at the same time the hard cover was released last year. It’s narrated by Rebecca Stern who does an amazing job voicing this emotional story.
The audiobook has also been updated with the new cover art and afterword —which is read by Joy in her own voice.
You can find the audio version of Dear Jacob: A Mother’s Journey of Hope on all the major audio platforms, including Audible, Audiobooks.com, the Apple Books app, Hoopla, Libby, Libro.fm, Google Play Books, and Scribd. If you’re interested in listening to a sample of Dear Jacob, click the following link.
https://www.audiobooks.com/book/stream/717092
Rankings and reviews
If you enjoyed reading Dear Jacob: A Mother’s Journey of Hope, please give it a positive rating and leave a review on Amazon, Goodreads, Barnes & Noble, or wherever you purchased your book. We love reading your reviews!
Ask for Dear Jacob at your local library
We love libraries, and would especially love if every library in America had a copy of Dear Jacob on its shelves. Many times there’s an online form you can fill out to request a specific book, but of course it’s just as simple to pick up the phone and call your friendly librarian. Thank you for your supporting your local library!
Really loved the video! The two of you are so great together. I hope you’ll do more of them..you’re both wonderful!
Great job on the video! Thoughtful and insightful. Well done, ladies!